Fear of Commitment

The desire for others commitment to us, is a deep need for certainty in relationships. But this fear of not trusting commitments, even when we desire them. Commitment to any relationship leaves us ambivalent and insecure. We may have become aware of this fear or not during childhood when we first felt alone and vulnerable realizing that we have no certainty about anyone having our back. But it is more than that. It is a destined human challenge we face to prompt our spiritual consciousness.

The desperate inner need to trust creates an external shield that comes across as defiance and sarcastic wit. Wit disguises our hidden longing for security and stability by testing how others accept us. Because of our sensitivity for the need for confirmation of others loyalty towards us, we may subjectively mis-interpreted any subtle behaviour as an indication of deceit. Our reaction may even be completely unconscious, while we give reasons and justifications of our sudden rejection of the people who seemingly hurt us. Our unconscious ‘shadow’ leaves us in constant doubt and anxiety about our own commitments too, which may cause others to feel this ambivalence and act in ways that confirm our suspicions about having to be on guard. This action-reaction behaviour develops into vicious cycles of inner and outer conflict that are not easy to live with. Our defence then is to project blame on others for the relationship conflict or misunderstandings we experience.

We need to realize that our longing for love and balance in relationships, while unconscious of our fear, drives us into a catch 22.

Our connection with our inner Divine essence happens easiest, for us with this fear, at the portal at the middle of our sternum. Hold or tap this part of your body and call upon your inner Divine to flood you with love and acceptance of yourself. While you love the doubtful side of yourself, the doubt is understood and accepted as a part of your human nature which you do not have to project on loved ones, partners or others. This doubt is a spiritual need inside you to connect with unconditional Love towards yourself to know now that you are secure and Divine in you has your back. You no longer must prove that others cannot be trusted by feeling doubtful about them. This is your spiritual realization and liberation to finally feel an internal relaxed loyalty towards others and accept their loyalty. You are supportive and love unquestionably, because you know the fear in you is a human aspect of your life. Your open divine connection guides your discernment in relationships and even when you feel distrustful, you know that this is your own shadow operating from your human fear to not being able to trust.

We all live alongside our shadows knowing where and how our fears trigger us into defensive behaviour that makes us wonder through life’s emotional deserts, if we do not consciously choose to live with Divine Love and Wisdom. Selflove is not to live in ego and narcissism. Divine selflove is about loving your human shadows like lost neglected children inside you whom you bring home to you, so they feel truly loved. We can only take care of our neglected human parts through our relationship with our internal Divine Love.

Blessings,

Jayni Bloch